Friday, April 6, 2012

Thursday, April 5: Their beautiful drinks and their beautiful lives.


Things were very bleak yesterday but seem much more hopeful today.  Charlie and I even went out for dinner.  I enjoyed a lovely virgin strawberry daiquiri which would have been a lot lovelier with a little bit of rum.  At first I didn’t think I could go and watch with jealousy as all those other patrons enjoyed their beautiful drinks and their beautiful lives.  How long were we going to try out this non-drinking lifestyle?  I keep getting confused between it being a forever thing and it being just a temporary thing.  Even temporary feels like forever.  Clearly, I’m very depressed and anxious and have been self medicating with the alcohol.  Obviously.

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